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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372332">this is how i love you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulsjiwoo/pseuds/soulsjiwoo'>soulsjiwoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:28:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulsjiwoo/pseuds/soulsjiwoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>before chaewon learned to say the words "i love you," she's always thought that there's only one way to love hyejoo. that loving hyejoo is loving the silence, loving the sound of rain as they sit together in an empty coffee shop at two am on mondays spent reading their notes for quizzes that will drain their heads eigh hours later. that loving hyejoo means sleeping soundly together as 90's rock music play in the background of hyejoo's room, or writing scribbled notes left on kitchen counters at the height of their busy days.</p><p>but chaewon is wrong.</p><p>when she learned what the words "i love you," meant, she realized that loving hyejoo isn't the same as loving the quiet night sky.</p><p>loving hyejoo is everything more than that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this is how i love you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>before chaewon learned to say the words "i love you," she's always thought that there's only one way to love hyejoo. that loving hyejoo is loving the silence, loving the sound of rain as they sit together in an empty coffee shop at two am on mondays spent reading their notes for quizzes that will drain their heads eigh hours later. that loving hyejoo means sleeping soundly together as 90's rock music play in the background of hyejoo's room, or writing scribbled notes left on kitchen counters at the height of their busy days.</p><p>but chaewon is wrong.</p><p>when she learned what the words "i love you," meant, she realized that loving hyejoo isn't the same as loving the quiet night sky.</p><p>loving hyejoo is everything more than that.</p><p>because hyejoo is quiet.</p><p>quiet and private. like the night sky when the city is busy and tired of chatting. because hyejoo is quiet and pretty, like a clear sky with stars littering and forning constellations of love songs whispered under the light of a moon lamp, when love is momentarily forgotten in order to focus on academics. </p><p>"this paper is due tomorrow," hyejoo would say, and  chaewon would sip on her third coffee of the night, tiredly raising her brow, "i have given up on sleep,"</p><p>"do you want some coffee, then?"</p><p>"your coffee is extremely sweet, chaewon," hyejoo would shake her head, then rest it against the blank paper sitting on her desk as she lets out a defeated sigh. "i want to die," she'd add, and chaewon would crinkle her nose but put her half empty mug of coffee by the brunette's hand anyway.</p><p>"and you will literally die if you don't drink this, hye," the blonde would say, as if it's not the first time they had this conversation for the night. and hyejoo would laugh, careless and laced with sleep. her laugh is quiet, controlled in attempt to preserve the silence lulling them closer in hyejoo's apartment.</p><p>and like the quiet night, hyejoo tries her best to not reign a storm. she simply looks at chaewon with an amused smile on her lips and tired stars in her eyes.</p><p>pretty, chaewon would think. and if she could tell hyejoo how the tired stars in her eyes shines brighter than all the stars that paints the night skies combined, she would.</p><p>but chaewon couldn't muster to say the words "i love you,"</p><p>so chaewon would leave the room and come back with a cup of black coffee in her hand and says, "your bitter water, ma'am," </p><p>yet, hyejoo's amused smile would turn into a grateful grin as she picks up both cups of coffee and drinks it anyway.</p><p>when chaewon learns to say the words "i love you," she learns that loving hyejoo is sometimes loud. </p><p>loud like the heartbeat pounding on her ears, or the lovesong her heart sings. loud like the affection in her eyes when hyejoo laughs heartily, or when hyejoo smiles and the moon finds itself on her eyes.</p><p>when chaewon learned to say "i love you," she realized that hyejoo's always been loud, too.</p><p>that hyejoo loves loudly. that quiet hyejoo draws the words "you're the one for me," on chaewon's back when they're sleeping next to each other after another exhausted night spent studying. that private hyejoo doesn't hide the love that blooms in her eyes when she looks at chaewon in front of their friends and she doesn't look away. </p><p>that the lovesongs hyejoo couldn't dedicate to chaewon through words and melodies sang are told through the small gestures hyejoo does for chaewon. that the songs she can't hum out loud are the heartbeats that lull chaewon to sleep on sundays after two hours of playing on wii. that hyejoo's "i love you," is expressed the same way as chaewon's "i love you,"</p><p>that it's loud, as if wanting to be heard yet quiet enough to remain subtle. like passing notes on math class when they're tired of multiplying numbers with letters and freestyling the solution, like throwing pebbles on your lover's window and waiting for her to come down.</p><p>perhaps chaewon realized that quiet "i love yous," are like mysteries that are hard to solve. that quiet i love yous have too many holes to be form love songs. that hyejoo could interpret chaewon's "i love you," as the love of a bestfriend who cared about you.</p><p>but to chaewon, it has always been more than just caring. it's always been so much more than being happy when she sees hyejoo every single time, or being worried when hyejoo's shoulders are wet from the rain because she made sure the umbrella shields all of chaewon first.</p><p>perhaps chaewon realized that there is no proper way to express how to say "this is how i show you that i'm in love with you," than saying "i love you,"</p><p>or perhaps, it was the the smile in hyejoo's lips when she visits chaewon on a wednesday afternoon with a cup of strawberry frappe that led her to say, "i love you,"</p><p>"pardon?"</p><p>"i love you,"</p><p>hyejoo laughs, as she lifts the cold cup of frappe and uses it to lightly hit chaewon's face, "i love you, too," </p><p>"no, hye," chaewon blinks, then she furrows her brow in frustration, crossing her arms as the brunette strides past her and towards the blonde's unusued kitchen, "i love you,"</p><p>and like she expected it, hyejoo turns her head and says, "i know," then she pauses to take out the boxed waffle batter from her backpack. she settles them carefully on the kitchen counter, before stunned chaewon closes the door and follows the other, "i love you, too,"</p><p>or, when chaewon learns how to say "i love you," she learns that hyejoo's been learning how to say it too.</p><p>after saying the words "i love you," chaewon realizes that loving hyejoo is so many things. </p><p>that loving hyejoo is sometimes like loving the night sky. when hyejoo is focused on academics and she forgets to push back her hair, so when chaewon looks up from her three pages readings and does it for her. loving hyejoo is like loving the night sky when she quietly leans over and presses a "thank you," to chaewon's lips and takes her hand to say, "i love you,"</p><p>that sometimes loving hyejoo is like loving 90's rock music. when the afternoon sun hides behind the clouds and the rain pours, and hyejoo picks up her bass guitar to play a rock song chaewon would recognize from the nights they spend sleeping next to each other, she kisses chaewon's forehead as her chords says, "this is for you." that loving hyejoo is sometimes like loving the rock songs they sing on top of their lungs when it's raining and the power's gone out.</p><p>that sometimes loving hyejoo is like loving the dull colors on their love's color palete. never standing out, but staying pretty all the same. that sometimes, loving hyejoo is like painting a watercolor painting with the dull colors and yet it splashes. the colors bursts and chaewon's eyes fall in love. that perhaps hyejoo's may look dull in everyone's eyes but to chaewon's, she's the most colorful painting chaewon's watercolors ever painted.</p><p>but deep in her heart, chaewon knows there's really no way to compare how it feels like to love hyejoo. because loving hyejoo is so many things, that there's simply no way to describe how it feels to love hyejoo because chaewon is only knows to love hyejoo.</p><p>chaewon was never here to teach anyone to love hyejoo.</p><p>she is only here to say, "this is how i love you,"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! i originally posted this on twitter but i'm crossposting it here too!</p><p>follow me on twt i make chuusoul hyewon and 2jin aus ( shameless plug ) @chuusoulhyewon</p></blockquote></div></div>
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